PANIC

It seems my body won't cooperate.  I have been in an ongoing panic since yesterday.  It seems to manifest at night.  Here's how it shakes down.  My heart starts to beat really fast.  My body starts shaking and I vomit.  Nice huh?  Yes that's what this shell of mine is doing.  In fact last night I got no sleep.  I have a hard time eating, but I know I have to in order to survive and not let the panic get worse.  Through this I have seen the hand of God.  I know he is present.  I am IN the battle.  In life alot of "us" move around knowing there is a battle but sometimes getting sidetracked with realities that are right in front of us in our fallen world.  Friends let me tell you, GOD is very real to me right now, at the same time I am VERY aware of SATEN.  The deceiver knows my every weakness.  This is my biggest.  My body-when it does things that my mind does not want it to and there is nothing I can do about it.  Honestly I just want to take a pill and make it go away.  But this is what I have done my entire life.  Trusting him right now is my lifeline.  Over and over I tell him.  SWEET Shepherd you are faithful you are trustworthy, you are BIGGER.  I tell him again and again if there were a more gentler way to the cross then you would give it to me.  He will stop at NOTHING for his BABY GIRL.  I am that LOVED!  Thank you for your prayers and PLEASE continue them.