Dearest Blogging friends,
I am getting ready to embark on one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. Let me give you some history. Upon my teen years I was a terror. I was an emotional wreck. I was first put on Birth Control at the age of 14 to try and help with the mood swings and severe PMS. When switching that several times in a matter of years the doc suggested that I have a chemical imbalance. What exactly is a chemical imbalance anyway? ( I am doing my research on this, I do believe it is real but stems from somewhere else, such as chemical reactions in the liver) So I started on Prozac at the age of 16. Seemed to help with the PMS symptoms temporally. In six months the Doctor had to up my dose. Then a few months after that I switched to a different SSRI ( Select Serotonin Re uptake Inhibitor) Paxil, then Zoloft. This had been an ongoing process until 4 years ago when through prayer and a lot of anger (for a drug or drugs having so much of a hold on me) I proceeded to come off slowly. I felt better than I had EVER felt. Then 3 months after, Ronnie went into the Hospital for diverticulitis and diverticulosis (this is the first time anything like this had happened in our 3 year Marriage) I felt panic at first but was able to stay pretty calm. Weeks after that Ronnie was rushed to the Hospital for Emergency Colon Surgery. Upon arrival to the hospital they discovered he had eaten a Whopper and Fries, surgery would have to be postponed 2 days to clean out his system, he would be spending these 2 days in the hospital hooked up to IVs with antibiotics and fluids. The first night he was put in the hospital, I was at home with my sweet Trinity and I started bleeding. I was mortified. I had heard of my friends going through this but never in my naive mind would my family go through this, now especially when my love was in the hospital with a severe life threatening infection. I talked with God a lot. I talked with my friend Shannon, she did the best thing that a friend can ever do, she told me the truth. She said Amber you need to prepare yourself that you are probably losing your baby. To be continued...
